Thursday, October 28, 2004

 

WHAT TO DO ABOUT FLORIDA

The sign on I-75 south as you cross the GA/FL border should read "WELCOME TO FLORIDA, AMERICA'S OWN BANANA REPUBLIC"! I mean, Florida has so much in common with those small Caribbean countries. Climate, hurricanes, an economy based on fruit growing, truck farming, and tourism. A corrupt leader with close ties to the American El Presidente. And, of course, elections that feature lots of corruption, voter disenfranchisement, and intimidation. Why, it's like Guatemala without the language barrier (My apologies to Guatemalans everywhere!)!

America has always been the country who has stood up for basic human rights. So what should we do about Florida? What we always do when a country gets too out of hand.....ECONOMIC SANCTIONS!

THINK OF IT...we can so quickly bring the Gator state to it's knee's! Buying grapefruit or oranges for breakfast? Look for the California or Arizona label! OJ, again, look for juice produced by a California cooperative. Fresh veggies? This time of year, they aren't local, so don't take the chance. Skip em'....you've been wanting to try out the Adkins diet anyhow!

Vacation? Disneyland instead of Disney World. Winter get away? San Diego instead of St. Petersburg. Or better yet... St. Ignace (you've always wanted to learn to ski, and the Yoopers could use the hard currency)!

So there's the plan. We can have them begging for political reform in a matter of no time. After all, look at how well sanctions have worked against Cuba!

Comments:
I don't know if America has always stood up for human rights. I think American has stood up for human rights if there's a strategic or economic advantage to doing so (i.e. Sudan, not caring about the Taliban until we needed to). But I think we should just saw Florida off at the panhandle and float them out to Cuba. ;-)
 
LOL....Point well taken, but after all, this was strictly satire...a little potic license allowed!
 
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