Thursday, January 20, 2005



Ever since I moved to Indiana from that great state directly north some 30 years ago, I have been bemused by the attitudes and culture of this state. It is truly a southern state stuck up north. I have also delighted in smugly irritating the hell outta the folks around here by constantly referring to Indiana as "hoosierville" or more pointedly, "North Mississippi". However, I believe I owe Mississippi an apology.

According to the news today, a study has been done comparing the collective IQ's of the 300 largest American cities. I immediately assumed that Biloxi or Natchez would be the dumbest. Or perhaps Birmingham AL, or Macon GA. But NOOOOO!
Turns out that the city with the lowest collective IQ in America is located right here in Hoosierville! Thats right, Indiana's second city, Ft. Wayne, is officially the dumbest city in America. About what you would expect for a city named after a general known as "Mad Anthony". Small wonder the Pistons packed up and moved to Detroit 45 years ago. At least the fans there can read the scoreboard.

It was all put in perfect perspective by an IUPUFW coed who said "Dumbest City? I always thought we were the FATTEST city!"

One can only surmise that Ft. Wayne is a city of fat dumbasses. Or dumb fatasses. Take your pick! God, I've GOTTA move back to Detroit!

Oops, bad math. The Pistons actually moved to Detroit about 55 years ago. Chalk it up to a Ft. Wayne moment!
Detroit, what what! that is right, Detroit MI is the best place on earth (no other city has Nikki's Pizza!) Poor FT. Wayne, that has to be depressing... oh well.

If you drive across the desert from say, Wells, Nevada to Reno and beyond, you will drive past Battle Mountain, Nevada. This town features a huge billboard just before town that announces, Battle Mountain, NY Times voted Armpit of America. I pulled off the interstate for a look, naturally, and I have no arguement.
gee, and i always thought the armpit of America was Cleveland!
And did you know that Athol, Massachusetts, was named the Ath... well you know, of America? Yep.

GWB. Great blog.
as in Athol, Mathethuthets?
yeth. thath ith.
I have to tell my mom that. She was born and raised in Indiana, and still claims it's the best state in the country. Every time someone from Indiana becomes famous or is in the news or something, say Tavis Smiley, she brags about that person being from Indiana. Until I told her Axl Rose was from her hometown. She had nothing good to say about that.
Folk singer Carrie Newcomer attended Purdue about the same time G&R was getting started in Laffeyette. You should hear her Axl Rose stories.
I think the latest research says Houston is the fattest city. Guess building is not the only thing unregulated there.

I'm going to challenge Indiana with West Virginia for the slowest witted state. It is the only place I've ever been where you ask for directions and people want to know what 'directions' are.

-- Mac Diva
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