Monday, February 14, 2005
MY BEST VALENTINE EVER
I love you! I know I don't say it enough and I am sorry. I love you so much. More than I know how to explain but I'll try...
You often say that you aren't as great a man as Grandpa was but I think you are wrong. I didn't really know Grandpa but I always felt his love and specialty. I think you inherited his good traits and added some good trait of your own. YOU proved that you can improve perfection.
You mean so much to me. I really don't see how I could ever live my life without you. Your my father, my mother, my guide , best friend, and so much more. More importantly you are all these things at the right times.
I have often been asked, like most people, who my hero is. Usually people answer someone famous, a super hero, artist, etc., but I don't. I have only a few heros and you have always been number one on my list.
I know it is wrong to pick favorites but you make it so hard. Even the people I do love as equally I love in a different way. I don't know how to explain it. I wish I could but I can't. I can't explain something so deep and filled with so many different emotions.
I read in a magazine once that part of woman's problems in relationships is that we measure guys up to one special man. Again You make this so damn hard not to do. I know I will never find a guy 1/2 the man you are. I wont even bother expecting them to be as great as You. Than again I feel like if I don't try then I am settling for less because you proved that great men do exist. You spoiled me with love and soul.
I am sorry I don't tell you I love you everyday. I am also sorry that I don't say these things to you more often. I always feel them though no matter what. I give you a hard time a lot when you don't deserve it. If i ever hurt you I apologize. You have never let me down or disappointed me.
I don't know what made me think this really...
I think I always blamed teenage hormones and Christine's being a bitch for my unhappiness as a young teenager. As I reflect on the past and old feelings I have come realize now that that wasn't really the problem. The problem was Christine had a special part of your heart and a lot of your time. Something I didn't want to share. The few years of unhappiness were because of me selfishly wanting you all to myself. I think Sean and Steven feel the same way. That is way they never gave any of your dates a chance.
I also think it is why I don't hold grudges against the whole Christine thing. I have forgotten most of the hurtful things she has said because it doesn't really matter. She messed up. Her loss, my blessing. I got ALL of my daddy back!!
I guess what made me realize all this is that now even when I am having trouble, feeling lost, and confused I am never unhappy... because I have you! Just seeing your face reassures me and eases any pain I feel. You are my happiness!
In simpler words I guess what I am trying to say is this...
I don't deny feeling a little lonely especially around Valentines Day, but in the end I am glad and thankful that YOU are my Valentine. I LOVE YOU!!!
Michelle ( Shelley) Rene' Spurrier
Way to go, Papa Bear! :)