Saturday, March 26, 2005

 

THE BOOB FACTOR

My 18 yr. old daughter NEVER gets carded. I don't understand it, because she doesn't look particularly old for her age. certainly not the over thirty that is supposed to be the cutoff age for ID checks in our state. But if we go to Applebee's or Friday's, they always seat us in the bar. She always gets served.

We went out St. Patrick's night to the local Celtic pub with her friend Cara, a Purdue sophomore 6 mos. older than Shelley. When we finally got to the head of the line waiting to get in, the bouncer stamped my hand, stamped Shelley's hand, then proceeded to card Cara and draw a large X on both of her hands. So while Shelley spent the rest of the night mingling with the Domers, hard cider firmly in hand, Cara was stuck with her free, designated driver diet Pepsi. And later in the evening, when a handsome young Notre Dame lad in a kilt bought her a drink, the bouncer promptly confiscated it while delivering a stern lecture. Shelley stood by, smiling sweetly, grasping her fourth Woodchuck.

My stepson has a theory about why she never gets carded. It's her boobs.

Daniel says that nobody ever really looks at her face. They see her obviously very grown up breasts and just assume the rest of her is too! Surprisingly, this works equally well with female or male servers!

I have come to the conclusion that Daniel is an astute young man. Last night, Shelley and her 19 yr. old friend and coworker Jill went to the local upscale Mexican cantina after work. Jill is also um, er, well.....stacked! The hostess immediately sat them in the bar, where they were served two liters of Margaritas, and, due to alcohol munchies, also consumed two baskets of tortilla chips w/picante sauce. The two maniacally giggling girls were retrieved by Jill's bemused mother, who wondered aloud how this could have happened. I told her the boob theory. She, too. has become a believer.

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