Wednesday, September 14, 2005



Once again, that great patriot, Gen. J. C. Christian comes up with a fresh perspective. Which is why JESUS' GENERAL remains one of the funniest blogs in the sphere!

Let us pray for effective prayers

Frank Williams

Dear Mr. Williams,

It seems like every time I fire up the old computer, I'm bombarded by emails about cheap Viagra, Russians who want to do things with my little soldier , and requests to pray for someone or something. Although I try to avoid responding to the first two, I spend many hours every day fulfilling the prayer requests.

I can't count the number of times I've responded to Pat Robertson's pleas by asking our Lord to smite various activist judges and foreign leaders, and I've answered The Presidential Prayer Team's call to bless the Our Leader so many times that my knees are now thick with calluses--people are beginning to mistake me for the White House harlot Jeff Gannon.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working. The activist judges and foreign leaders continue to walk around committing acts of activism and foreignness without suffering even a minor scratch. And let's not even talk about Our Leader's lack of blessings.

I've tried everything I can think of to make the prayers more effective. I've fasted; I've whipped myself with everything from a belt to a strand of barbed wire; and I've followed your instructions and prayed "that God would use to motivate people throughout America to sincerely pray for our nation," in the belief that sheer numbers might get God off the dime. None of it has worked.

I'm wondering if perhaps there might be too much praying going on. Perhaps the Lord is overwhelmed by it all and is suffering some kind of information-overload-induced paralysis, or worse yet, answering prayers so fast, he's getting them wrong--that would explain Rehnquist and Our Leader's domestic and foreign policies.

Maybe we should consider combining all the prayers together so that we no longer overwhelm Him. I think it would look something like this:

Heavenly Father, please use to motivate people throughout America to rise up in an angry mob and smite activist judges and foreign leaders and beat the shit out of whoever is advising Our Leader.

Yeah, that would cover just about everything, What do you think?

Heterosexually yours,

Gen, JC Christian, patriot

Check outTHE DAY HELL FROZE OVER at Capital Hill Blue

I don't know whether to laugh or be offended. That's my kind of blog!!

Blessings Abound!
That's when you know you've found good humor... when you're not sure if you should laugh. I love the patriotic Buddy Christ. We have one of those statuetts in our bathroom.
Great blogs! Thanks for the links to them. I won't be struck down for laughing now, will I?
The reason I say yes is that the vices Bear's link subscribes to is like a contagion; it infects the host until it ultimately dies. Vices of arrogance, blasphemy, etc. become so much a part of the host that the host doesn't realize how twisted and disfunctional his thinking and belief systems operate. Everything seems to go fine; people all around seem to like it and laugh with you; a few of those "fundamentalists" react negatively, which adds to the hosts glee. All of these things seem to make vice just a normal part of life...until it's too late. The damage is done, the deception is complete, and at the day of reckoning, a point where many of the deceived have taken no thought to the gravity of death, find themselves in great fear. By then, the laughing stops. So enjoy the vicious blogsites for the scope of it all, it doesn't last long.
v.v.- No. And the underground logician should know better too.

Jesus' General does not make fun of Jesus or God. It pokes fun at a very specific group of people that both UL and I are very familiar with. Those folks my college mates and I used to refer to as the "fightin fundies", because they"ld rather fight than change an opinion for something as trivial as fact. These are people that the UL and I know very well, he as a former fundamentalist pastor turned Catholic philosopher, me as someone who spent the first 34 years of his life as an Evangelical.

Jesus' General makes fun of a very particular (and richly deserving) group. Those sanctimonious, arrogant folks who believe that God has a wonderful plan for your life, but didn't bother to share it with you, but somehow saw fit to share it with them instead. Folks like the radio talk show host I heard yesterday saying that God destroyed New Orleans because it was a den of iniquity, and if the rest of the country didn't shape up, we'd all be next.

If you've ever been to Scandinavia or the Netherlands, you know that New Orleans ranks pretty far down the list as dens of iniquity go. I think Rotterdam or Copenhagen would be much higher up the Godly demolition list if iniquity was the issue.

These people believe they have a special "in" with God, so they can dictate to you how to live, and how to approach God, as if you and God aren't capable of working out your own relationship.

So, to make a long story short. you are not doing anything wrong or blasphemous laughing at JG. The real blasphemy is the arrogance of those who believe that they know more about how you should relate to God than you do.
"Vicious blogsites"? U.L., if I hadn't read your other posts, I would suspect your post was an elaborate joke. Unfortunately, you seem to be all too guilty of one of your own vices, arrogance.
"The real blasphemy is the arrogance of those who believe that they know more about how you should relate to God than you do."

I agree. However, since when does two wrongs make a right? (forgive the cliche but I find it appropriate).
So you claim the 'fightin' fundies' are laughing at you because they are on the fast trck with God and you're not and you laugh at them because they are so "easy to make fun of and deserve it".
Somewhere in the middle are the rest of us who think both sides are pretty sad and nothing about that is funny.
(I'm not saying you're sad GWB. I think you are someone I would love to sit down with and eat a pulled pork sandiwhich and drink a beer. I'm just pointing out that both sides sound arrogant to me.)
Never said they were laughing at me/us. Frankly, they're a pretty humorless group.

They are also folks who take themselves WAY to serious. It's good to be able to laugh at yourself occasionally. Keeps people laughing with you rather than at you.

And anytime you wanna sit down for a pulled pork (or brisket, not choosey), a Molson's and some philosphic chat... I'm game!
I agree they tend to take themselves too seriously. I just don't think that making fun of them is the answer (expection: The Simpsons. Gotta love the Simpsons). It reminds me of the bully on the playground that is all bark and no action. Does he deserve to be made fun of because he makes fun of others? It just sounds so "eye for an eye". Wouldn't it be better to practice what our mammas taught us and kill each other with kindness?
Of course that only works if the bully isn't kicking your ass.
If he's hurting you--I have a different recipe.
As far as I can tell, these people (most of them) are just bags of hot air.

I'm game!

There is a part of me that agrees with you. But here is the thing. for the most part these people attract the like minded, but they also attract what we'll the ptential immigrants. There are always a certain number of people standing on the border. trying to decide whether to cross or not. Some are on the outside looking in, some on the inside looking out, but either way, just on the verge of crossing.

These are the people for whom it is important that hypocracy be exposed and and certain ideologies exposed as the empty vessels they really are!

And, by the way, these people are nothing if not bullies. Remind me to blog about The Adventures of C. Everett Koop, Surgeon General sometime!
In UL's defense, I find his commentary to be well thought out in his mindset. He also means well and is respectful.
John, I agree. UL is always well thought.
"These are the people for whom it is important that hypocracy be exposed and and certain ideologies exposed as the empty vessels they really are!"

Now I totally agree with that. My problem is this: You are right. There are people sitting the fence, watching all of this going on. They see a site like the one you quoted in your post, about praying, and maybe they get the idea that Christianity and a belief in Christ is a big, fat joke.
Maybe that's all they get out of it, nevermind the fact that underneath the sarcasm and tongue-in-cheek stuff is the real issue of exposing people for what they really are.
See my point?
It's just going about it in the wrong way--in my opinion. There are plenty of cool, Christian talk radio personalities out there that single out the faulty, bogus Christians without painting Christianity in a bad light.
Especially in this country, Christianity has more than adequate numbers of defenders. Too many of whom are willing to defend it Carte Blance.

Thsoe of us who satarize the more obvious of it's excesses to both non believers and believers a service. Satire is the best way of making people see their flaws. You are right, THE SIMPSONS rocks!
I see satire is a valuable part of rhetoric, for it does outline absurdity by being absurd. I do laugh and most times groan at what passes as Christianity these days. Especially the "God told me tell you" statements...I am often very impatient with these folks. But, they mean well; they just are VERY difficult to deal with, being closed minded as they are.

I've been on the "Jesus General's" site and was very disturbed at its treatment of Christians. I know what the author of the site is trying to do at poking fun at the stupidity. I am troubled that it does cross the line.

As to dbackdad and your comments to me about my vice of arrogance...I'm not surprised if people see vice in me. As a matter of fact, I'm more surprised when people see virtue in me, knowing what I do about myself; I see the junk rolling around inside of me. Reminds me of one of my good ol' trucks I used to drive...McDonald coffee cups, coke cans, sandwich wrappers, old french fries and such bouncing around as I drove to different job sites. However, I'd like to know how you define "arrogance." If you refer to my blogsite as an example, what specifically do you mean? I have often identified fallacies and wrong thinking that fill our media and culture. If it's my declarations that smack of arrogance, then watch out! You have just made a declarative sentence yourself by identifying my arrogance; you could be condemning your own actions, based on your definition. So help me here...I'm sure we will both benefit, which, by the way, is my purpose for us.
Since I am not the one who referred to you as arrogant here, I'll let DBD explain his comment. I in fact agreed that your posts are usually very well thought. My only complaint would be that you tend to be dismissive of people whom you percieve to be less intellignet than you, but since I have the tendancy to do the same, I can't throw stones, now can I?

Not to mention the story of your truck tells me we are very much alike in a lot of ways!

I have always been a very big believer in the power of satire. However, satire does have it's limits. Satire is only useful if it's consumers are intelligent enough to understand it's message. We are now on the second generation of students who are being taught great memorization skills, but not taught or encouraged to think critically. This means a) satire becomes effective to an increasingly narrow spectrum of people, or b) the message has to be dumbed down.

This is the true brilliance of THE SIMPSONS, which manages to remain relevant and amazingly popular after 12 years on the air. Great satire presented in a manner that virtually everyone "gets". It's like Boss Tweed once said of Thomas Nast, "these immigrants may not be able to read, but everbody understands those damned cartoons!"
I'm certain dbackdad will respond. As to my dismissing others who are less intelligent than me, perhaps it's because people take it personally when I dismiss their arguments, or lack of them. It's smarts a bit when someone thinks your thoughts are screwy. Don't I know, my profs at Marquette are good at dismissing my arguments, or lack of them. *LOL*

I'll be sure to be clear with my statements so as to not be seen as someone who dismisses people along with their beliefs, etc.

As to my vehicles...I'm a firm believer that they should make an auto air=freshener that smells like spilled coffee!!! MMMM good! Mix that with a little cedar and you got something! Covers up the smell of regurgitated vanilla ice cream. Don't involves my dog!
Just an idea. Perhaps you should ask for ideas for auto air-fresheners. The more creative, the better. The winner gets to advertise their blog on the GWB network!
great idea on the air fresheners!

I think arrogance is the wrong word. You and I both tend to be smuggly dismissive, confident that only our logic is concievably correct. Even worse, I REALLY have problems suffering fools lightly, as evidenced by my dealings with the Logic Monkey!

But however much I try to change, in the end, Popeye was right "Aye'm what Aye'm and thats all what Aye'm" (toot toot)
Well, logic is logic. There are no "versions" of it. Either we are being logical, or we resort to fallacies. Fallacies never prove anything to be true, although they can be pursuasive to the uninformed. But, being pursuasive, or even clever in our insults doesn't prove anything other than our character...myself definitely included. Logic is the common master over all.
I agree to a point. That is true if you are talking about mathematical logic. However, rhetorical logic is a slightly different beast. Rhetorical logic starts with a premise and attempts to prove it. Which is why you and I can both be perfectly logical, and come to completely different conclusions. We start with different premises.

Which is why, when possible, one should always follow the numbers!
Nah! Numbers work well for numbers, not universals. I could never get the "logic" in geometry in high school; it had no application to real life.

As to starting with different premises, I agree. The question that is beyond logic is, "What is truth?" The answer to that question reveals our philosophical presuppositions.
LOL..which leads us right back to the numbers. It is, after all, a mathematical universe (which explains why I so often look around me and go "HUH?"
UL, I LOVE your description of your soul! We ALL have a few coffee cups and candy wrappers rolling around.
Don't dismiss geometry as a logic tool. I GET geometry and proofs and have found it invaluable in life! There's beauty in the simplicity of if/then statements.
OH NO, I've outed myself as a math nerd!
Sorry I've missed most of this dialogue. UL and GWB have been most entertaining.

By no means do I intend to impugn your integrity UL. I think you may have read a little more into my comment than I intended. My arrogance comment was narrowly applied to your statement about the Buddy Christ blog being a "vicious blogsite". First of all, like GWB, I believe it to be satire and not nearly as malicious as you believe. Second of all, the arrogance definition I'm applying to your statement is of highhandedness ... moral superiority, if you will. It just sounded a little bit too much like you were scolding dull children (of which we all probably were ... he-he)
I think what happens is when we share opinions, we want to keep them in the opinion catagory. We don't want to be corrected or shown that we are wrong. The area of right and wrong is in the area of truth, and we all know what a hot-button issue THAT is!

What gets dicey, though, is when declarative statements that are made that are assumed to be true, even the angular ones on the Jesus General site. Now it's no longer opinion time, it's reality time, which is what truth deals with, our apprehension of what is real. So, me, the UL chimes in with his ever so lofty thoughts and yeeha we have ourselves a minor tiff!

I do understand what you are saying about my comments sounding highminded. I don't think that they are, but that's your perception. Too often, when people see that they're being corrected, take it personally and attack. I don't know if there's any way around this, unless we all abandon the arena of truth and keep opining.
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