Saturday, May 20, 2006

 
IF ONLY AMERICA HAD KNOWN BUSH IS A FISHERMAN....

AL GORE WOULD PROBABLY BE PRESIDENT! After all, we all know what horrible liars fishermen are. You know they can't be trusted. Well, it turns out that even El Presidente's biggest accomplishment in office is a huge lie.

I was browsing our friend Shaw's
site and saw where George W. Bush said his greatest accomplishment since taking office was catching a 7lb perch in a pond on his ranch. Think, for just a moment, what a sad, pathetic statement that is. In 5 and 1/2 years as leader of the richest, most powerful nation on the planet, his greatest accomplishment is catching a big fish. But it gets worse.

Living in as close a proximity to Lake Michigan as I do, and having previously lived very near lakes St. Clair, Erie and Huron, I have done more than a bit of perch fishing in my day. Even on Lake Michigan, a 2 lb perch is a whopper! And perch are cold water fish, they tend not to thrive in southern heat.

So I did a bit of research. The world record White Perch is 4lbs 12 oz, caught in a Maine Lake in 1949. The world record Yellow Perch is 4lb 3 oz, taken out of Cross Wickes Creek in New Jersey in 1865.
Now Dubya would have you believe that in a SOUTHERN pond, he caught a perch that is 50% bigger than any perch caught in the last 140 years! Funny, no photos. Nothing on the Texas DNR site about a new world record. Typical fisherman, he can't even tell the truth about his greatest accomplishment, as pathetic as it was.

How horrifying it would be if someone asked my granddaughter what my greatest accomplishment was, and she said, "well, we used to think that it was the big fish he caught, but that turned out to be a lie too!

Presidents come and presidents go
They rise like smoke they fall like snow
Do you believe the things you say
Your lofty thoughts are filled with hay
What is this faith that you profess
That led to this colossal mess
When you awaken from this coma
You'll find you were in Oklahoma
When you crawl out of this self delusion
You're going to need a soul transfusion

This version of the world will not be here long
It is already gone It is already gone
This version of the world will not be here long
It is already gone It is already gone."
from T-Bone Burnett's song PALESTINE TEXAS


Comments:
We once had a president ---THHHIIIISSSSSSSS --- big.

The simple act of being proud of your leader might become the greatest fisherman's tale yet. After W, will future generations believe that such a thing was ever even possible in America?
 
Well, he's obviously overcompensating for something. Knowing Dubbyah though, the fish in question was most likely a bass or catfish that he mistook for a perch. Him not sharpest crayon in box you know.

I myself think his greatest accomplishment in office so far is actually getting us involved in a war with... who was that war with again? No, well howabout those great tax breaks we got this last year? No, no tax breaks for me... hmmm...perhaps the excellent state of the American economy? No. The great reduction in our national deficit? No. Gas prices? No. Wasting millions of dollars on sending National Guard to the Mexican border to just sit? No... ooh, I know. His greatest accomplishment in office so far is he's never clipped his toenails in the oval office.
 
So now instead of giving us bullsh** he's giving us perchsh**???
 
Well, you know...size matters.
 
Hey, I heard about this on NPR's "Whadaya Know" this past weekend. Somebody actually called him on it, pointing out it couldn't possibly have been a perch or if it was, it couldn't have been that weight.

Even though it appeared on the White House's website that it was a perch, after being called on it, they changed their website and then said everyone else must have been mistaken or misunderstood what the President originally said.

Can you believe it? Even when he's wrong and it's on tape and in print, he's still not wrong, everyone else is. This is definitely a pattern with this administration on matters big and small. *sigh*
 
Dan said: "His greatest accomplishment in office so far is he's never clipped his toenails in the oval office."

Can you prove that? I wouldn't put it past him. He obviously has no respect for the office he holds or the people he serves... ;P
 
I wish that was the worst lie he's told...
 
At least THIS lie was amusing.
 
Heh heh, before I read your entire post I searched "seven pound perch" and "perch" "records" on google and came up with the same facts about perch.

However, just to play Devil's Advocate (and I hate doing this). There is a Nile Perch found in Texas whose record is 12lb 1oz. I found that here.

Also, this website fails to give the taxonomy, and the only reference I can find to a "Nile Perch" are those found in Lake Chad, Congo, Nile, Senegal, Volta, Lake Turkana and other river basins. I also can't find any info that conclusivly proves it was ever introduced to America, or that it is the same species in which the above website refers to.

I also found another website (well, PDF doc) Texas Freshwater Species Checklist-- I may have overlooked Nile perch, as it's a long list -- but I sure didn't see "Nile Perch" on there.

Also, with no taxonomy listed on the perch records list, who know's if THAT fish was even a perch???

Okay, the last parts were because I'm a fish geek, and I had to redeem myself after attempting to play devil's advocate for :::shudder::: Dubbya...
:::pukegagpuke:::
 
Now that he kinda-sorta admitted it's not good for a nation's leader to talk like a freakin' John Wayne movie all the time....maybe he'll kinda-sorta admit that he's a pathological liar, too....
'Cause only fishermen and/or pathological liars make up stuff that no one really gives a sh** about!
 
These are special presidential perch....he had the CIA feed them full of MK Ultra....
 
How Myths are born.

Yup and another George cut down a cherry tree.
 
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