Thursday, March 08, 2007



I think the government should mandate the following warning sign be placed on the homes of all evil bitch dragon ladies:


This is actually not that funny. The amount of alcohol I consume has about quadrupled the last month. The 30 count case of OM that used to last me a couple of weeks is lucky to last me 4 days lately. Last night I went to dinner with a friend at the Oaken Bucket, and in an amazingly short amount of time, I had consumed five 20oz draughts of Smithwicks Irish Ale. Which I followed up with two pints of Boddington's Pub Ale when I got home. Yeah, you know it is getting bad when I am breaking into the weekend beer on Wednesday night!

At least I think our problems with South Bend Animal Control may be over. We got a notice demanding to see his crate because "someone" had reported that he was being kept in a crate that was too small for him. Fortunately, my extremely buxom daughter had the good sense to put on the "boob shirt." The same one she wears when she wants to get seated and served at the local bars. The poor young animal control officer stammered that he could see Kipper was well taken care of and we'd have no more visits unless he bites somebody. You know you've accomplished your goal when speech impediment sets in!
FILE UNDER THE "WHAT THE FUCK?" category. Please explain to me what these tax guys are thinking, and why Rod Blagoyavich hasn't kicked their butts back into the stone ages?
Alternative Fuel Creates Tax Woes for Couple
The continuing story of the fired US Attorneys could get VERY ugly very soon. Daniel Shorr is comparing it to Nixon's firing of Archibald Cox, which led to article 2 of Nixon's impeachment: Abuse of Presidential power. Listen to Shorr's excellent commentary on the
The Independence of U.S. Federal Attorneys HERE
In a related story: After all but admitting to attempting to influence the direction of a Federal corruption probe, shouldn't Sen. Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Congresswoman Heather Wilson (R-NM) resign immediately? Is there any greater threat to justice than political interference in judicial cases? Hopefully, at the very least, there will be a severe censure from the Senate and House. Actually, their respective chambers could have them removed from office. More likely to happen to Wilson than Domenici, but who knows?

And the Republican culture of corruption continues to rear it's ugly head!
If you are a music lover, and get tired of the repetitive shit you hear on what passes for radio these days, NPR is a great resource. I am constantly finding new stuff on their site I didn't know existed. The latest discovery is the SHADOW CLASSICS column by Tom Moon. Lot's of great stories and music. Especially check out Michael Nesmith: Overcoming the Monkees, Last Coherent Statement of a Genius (about Sly Stone), and A Long Career on the Verge of Fame (about Katell Keineg). Each of these articles includes several songs by the articles subject. Great reading and listening. SHADOW CLASSICS
UPDATE! ATTENTION DR (almost). GYMPUMPKIN! After a 35 year hiatus THE STOOGES have released a new album! And they are going to tour! Yep, original memebers Iggy Pop, Ron and Scott Asheton (Bassist Dave Alexander died in 1975), plus two new guys.

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Did you also hear that Newt Gingrich admits having an affair during the Clinton impeachement? talk about irony.

I must have missed something. The dragon lady called animal control on you? I say do what John does, sneak out in the middle of the night and piss on her lawn chairs.
Animal control, code enforcement, the ex-wife... anybody she can think of to torture us. The other day I was awakened by a police officer because she had called to complain that she didn't like my perectly legally parked car being parked across from her driveway. The converesation went like this:

Officer: You have a problem with a neighbor?
Me: which one?
Officer: (pointing) next door
Me: Oh God, she's such a pain in the ass.
Officer: Yes, we know!
Did you listen to the album yet? I listened to it once. I'm not sure what I think about it yet. Upon first listen I didn't like it as much as I would have hoped, but I didn't hate it either. Sometimes albums are growers on me, and I have to give it a few listens before I can say I love it or hate it. I think I will listen to it again today.
How is it that there are people in the world who have the time and the nerve to make other people's lives so miserable?
I honestly don't have the kind of time it takes to be a dragon lady. The toad that is squatting in our rental house is a dragon lady. She's 42 years old and probably hasn't worked a day in her life. My dragon lady puts fast food on the table by sucking off a system that fully allows it.
How does your dragon lady survive? Does she have a husband with no backbone?
Does she have a sugar daddy? Is she on welfare? I must know.
Laura; I'd pee on her lawn chairs, but she has security cameras everywhere.

Andi: It is typically Stooges, several songs I really like, several others that are, eh. I am more excited about seeing them onstage and being sober enough to remember it!

Sadie: My Dragon lady is an ex state cop on a disability retirement. Apparently, somebody ran her over and her shoulder is too messed up to be a street officer. They offered her a desk job or disability retiement.

She works part time at Pet Rescue, and is the ultimate animal Nazi. She thinks our working/hunting breed dog should be treated the same as a short haired house animal. One of those people with just enough knowledge to be dangerous.

She has too much time on her hands, and thinks because she is an ex cop it is her job to run the neighborhood. She never talks directly to you. She bitches to the neighbors, the cops she thinks are friends (and who can't stand her), calls your ex-wife/landlord, all with ridiculous complaints that no one gives a damn about but her.

Her real problem is that when she told us we need to keep Kipper indoors in cold weather, we ignored her. The one thing she can't stand.. not being in control.
They will be in Chicago soon, but I'm broke. Will it be worth the $40 to see them, before TicketMaster fees? I'm thinking so, but I default to your superior knowledge on this one.
Well as you recall, I was too drunk to remember the only time I saw them. Having said that, if you are into punk at all I am sure it will be worth the money, for historic purposes if nothing else.

If the MC5 were the fathers of punk, the stooges were the womb were it gestated and sprung forth!

Btw, where are they playing in Chicago? I was planning on seeing them in Detroit, but Chicago would be closer. Maybe we could even get together for a beer.
It's people like that that make me wonder why the people who she thinks are her friends (cops, etc) continue to placate her instead of telling her what they really think and start ignoring her calls. Sorry dude.

If you do end up in Chicago, do let me know...
we've been very lucky to have fabulous neighbours. they even tolerate squeezebox music...
Suggestions... Carrion plants planted as close to her property as possible, or flaming bags of dog poo.

Oooh, or, late at night, make just enough noise to keep her awake but not so loud to disturb the peace. Then, just start digging holes. Maybe carry the occasional black garbage bag in from your car, but make it look like it's about 200 pounds or so. Then, "No, no, Kipper, bad dog! I have to bury that, too!"

I know, or, I hear that there's no law against super bright flood lights, just aim them in her bedroom window and keep them on all night.

I think I need a nasty neighbor, this part is fun!
If oyu get revenge Oh Great white subtle and clever and hit the nerve of your neighbour from helll...leave no tracks nor traces and sit back on your chair and watch the show... it will feel great.. something non violent...something embarrassing wish I could help

Any suggestions for bitchy upstairs neighbors? You've got some good ideas you evil little minx
Laura, I have one. It assumes you have a powerful stereo though. And an accomplace.

Place speakers on top of a tall step ladder, facing ceiling Find an old Ted Nugent/Amboy Dukes album (Journey to The Center Of The Mind works nicely here). Sneak accomplace into apartment (Donna might work well here), then leave, making a big deal about how you are gonna be out till the wee hours of the morning.

The rest is simple. Have your accomplace play about 45 secs of Nuge at 100 watts, at varying intervals during the night. At the first sign of Land lord visitation, she quickly halls down the speakers and hides.

You have complete deniablility, since you were out painting the town red.

If they didn't die of a heart attack upon teh first blast of Nuge, just occasionally give him/her a fifteen second middle of the night blast of Nuge, and when neighbor or cop shows up, feign tha you wre sleeping sundly, and have no idea what the hell they are talking about. You heard nothing.

This ploy has worked for me twice in the last 35 years. Works exceptionally well if your neighbor is a redneck, country western type. Trust me, they HATE Nuge guitar licks!
Fuel tax?! This is what happens when you put morons in positions of power!
I forgot to mention that Broadzilla (the nasty upstairs neighbor) is best buds with the Landlords... sigh... that complicates things a bit. I can't wait to just tell her where to stick it when we finally buy a place and move out... She's such a holier than thou, selfish, knowitall bitch.
I don't know about you GWB, but I vote for Courtney to be your hitlady! I LOVE twisted evil minds! ;)

Your "speaker trick" worked for us too. Only we had my husband's professional sound system and aimed it out the window at the obnoxious neighbor next door.
Laura - I feel your pain!

tshsmom - I agree, Courtney rocks (evil genius that she is).

And there is nothing like Nuge at 100 watts, administered liberally, to rid yourself of unwanted pests!
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